So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i barfeds in our rink
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
