I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
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