i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize