i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
