I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
