I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
