Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
