Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
