my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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