I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I can't put those talents on a resume
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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