This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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