All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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