no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
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