I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
