update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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