i don't like sucking hair
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Randomize
