Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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