One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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