i think my tv is drunk
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
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