my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Randomize
