you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
