this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
