Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize
