Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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