It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Randomize
