i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
