Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
That was an excessively violent trivia night
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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