whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize