Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize