He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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