So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
