There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
