Screwed.edu
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
