There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Randomize
