Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
