Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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