Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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