Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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