Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
