Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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