I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
