For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Randomize
