Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Randomize
