using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
