These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I am naked and annoyed.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
