Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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