I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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