I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Randomize
