eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
