I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
NoShamevember. You game?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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