Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
