I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
