He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
