Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
MIDGETS
????
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
