I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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