My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Randomize
