I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
