the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
