..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
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