used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
