I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Congratulations! We have a period
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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