I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
