Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
