So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Are my feet made of real feet?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize