I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
it was like having sex with a tree stump
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
