Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize
