the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
