so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
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