the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
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