She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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