thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
