I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
