My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
