Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
