conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
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