Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Randomize
