I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
