I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize