sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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